Personal Movie Rating: 66%
Here is my thought on the movie "Forget Paris" (1995):
*WARNING: POTENTIAL SPOILER ALERT*
Bad Communication Can Destroy a Marriage
The movie "Forget Paris" tells the love story of Mickey Gordon (Billy Crystal) and Ellen Andrews Gordon (Debra Winger). In the movie, Mickey met Ellen when he was handling his father's funeral in France. Mickey and Ellen fell in love with each other after spending a week together in France, Ellen got a divorce with her ex-husband and quit her job in France, so that she could marry Mickey and live together in LA. But this is not where the movie ends. "Forget Paris" is not your typical romance comedy as it does not end with the typical "happily ever after" scene. Instead, it tells the story of what happened after the "happily ever after" scene, which is the scene where Ellen moved to LA with Mickey. After the honeymoon period of their marriage, Ellen and Mickey realized that things didn't turn out as they had hoped. Both of them were different in many ways, which include personality, values, career goals and so on. As a result, disagreements and conflicts arose. Things got even worse as both Ellen and Mickey adopted bad, dysfunctional communication styles while interacting with one another.
One of the bad communication styles adopted by Ellen and Mickey was criticism. Criticism is different from complaint, as the latter addresses particular issue or problem, whereas the former involves blaming another individual totally for what have happened. In other words, criticism is sort of like a personal attack. In the movie, Mickey couldn't stand being a car salesman and wanted to return to basketball refereeing. Instead of trying to rationalize, Mickey argued with Ellen, and blamed her insensitiveness about his feelings as the main reason for his unhappiness. Mickey criticized Ellen as a whole, instead of trying to explain why was he unsatisfied with his current job as a car salesman. As a result, Mickey and Ellen got into a "cold war". Things got even worse when both Mickey and Ellen started to get defensive over each other's criticisms. Defensiveness is another bad communication style that will put relationships on rocks. This occurs when an individual's self esteem is at risk due to criticism by others. As a result, he or she will respond defensively via different ways such as counterattacking, fishing for excuses, or denying responsibilities, all of which will just make things even worse. In the movie, Ellen couldn't accept the fact that Mickey blamed her inattentive towards his sexual urges as the main reason why their relationship got worse. Ellen got defensive and struck back at Mickey by saying that it was because all Mickey's fault for that that to happen. Instead of acknowledging the problem and trying to solve it, Ellen focused too much on denying her responsibility and putting the blame on Mickey. As a result, Ellen and Mickey's marriage went further downhill.
In the end of the movie, even though both Ellen and Mickey were ready to compromise in order to save their marriage and remain together, but that doesn't guarantee their eternal marriage happiness. Argument, dispute, and conflict are unavoidable and inevitable in relationships, and these will definitely occur again in Ellen and Mickey's relationship in the future. However, it is possible for Mickey and Ellen to keep a happy marriage, as long as they are willing to make changes to their communication styles and do not repeat what they did previously to sabotage their relationship.
The movie "Forget Paris" tells the love story of Mickey Gordon (Billy Crystal) and Ellen Andrews Gordon (Debra Winger). In the movie, Mickey met Ellen when he was handling his father's funeral in France. Mickey and Ellen fell in love with each other after spending a week together in France, Ellen got a divorce with her ex-husband and quit her job in France, so that she could marry Mickey and live together in LA. But this is not where the movie ends. "Forget Paris" is not your typical romance comedy as it does not end with the typical "happily ever after" scene. Instead, it tells the story of what happened after the "happily ever after" scene, which is the scene where Ellen moved to LA with Mickey. After the honeymoon period of their marriage, Ellen and Mickey realized that things didn't turn out as they had hoped. Both of them were different in many ways, which include personality, values, career goals and so on. As a result, disagreements and conflicts arose. Things got even worse as both Ellen and Mickey adopted bad, dysfunctional communication styles while interacting with one another.
One of the bad communication styles adopted by Ellen and Mickey was criticism. Criticism is different from complaint, as the latter addresses particular issue or problem, whereas the former involves blaming another individual totally for what have happened. In other words, criticism is sort of like a personal attack. In the movie, Mickey couldn't stand being a car salesman and wanted to return to basketball refereeing. Instead of trying to rationalize, Mickey argued with Ellen, and blamed her insensitiveness about his feelings as the main reason for his unhappiness. Mickey criticized Ellen as a whole, instead of trying to explain why was he unsatisfied with his current job as a car salesman. As a result, Mickey and Ellen got into a "cold war". Things got even worse when both Mickey and Ellen started to get defensive over each other's criticisms. Defensiveness is another bad communication style that will put relationships on rocks. This occurs when an individual's self esteem is at risk due to criticism by others. As a result, he or she will respond defensively via different ways such as counterattacking, fishing for excuses, or denying responsibilities, all of which will just make things even worse. In the movie, Ellen couldn't accept the fact that Mickey blamed her inattentive towards his sexual urges as the main reason why their relationship got worse. Ellen got defensive and struck back at Mickey by saying that it was because all Mickey's fault for that that to happen. Instead of acknowledging the problem and trying to solve it, Ellen focused too much on denying her responsibility and putting the blame on Mickey. As a result, Ellen and Mickey's marriage went further downhill.
In the end of the movie, even though both Ellen and Mickey were ready to compromise in order to save their marriage and remain together, but that doesn't guarantee their eternal marriage happiness. Argument, dispute, and conflict are unavoidable and inevitable in relationships, and these will definitely occur again in Ellen and Mickey's relationship in the future. However, it is possible for Mickey and Ellen to keep a happy marriage, as long as they are willing to make changes to their communication styles and do not repeat what they did previously to sabotage their relationship.
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